My Fifteen Minutes of Fame

Do you remember I said early on that I was going to be a star when I got finished with my chemo treatments? Well, it's official. I landed my television appearance today!

Here's the skinny. I was recently interviewed by a syndicated columnist and humorous relationship expert, Lisa Daily, for an article she was writing for LifetimeTV.com. Since the month of October is typically all about breast cancer awareness, the topic of the article was Dating with Breast Cancer. This all came about when my friend, Jackie, a publicist, forwarded me an e-mail query from Lisa Daily seeking interviews with women who dated during their breast cancer treatments. If there are two things I know a great deal about, it's breast cancer and DATING! I wound up speaking with Lisa over the phone for nearly half an hour, entertaining her with my "Carrie Bradshaw" (Sex in the City) dating experiences. Everyone who knows me knows I am a fairly open book, and I'm willing to share most things about my life -- good or bad -- if I feel it will have some relevance or positive significance for someone else. So I opened up to Lisa and at the end of the conversation, she thanked me for being so honest and assured me she would be "delicate" with me in the short article. This actually gave me a little pause because while our interview was very conversational, I wondered if perhaps I had revealed too much. I really don't mind putting myself out there when I talk of my experiences, but I would never want to cause anyone (particularly someone I may have dated and cared about meaningfully at one time) any embarrassment. I'll come back to this point.

In conjunction with the article, Lisa asked if I would be willing to come to Tampa to tape a television appearance for a morning talk show that she appears on each Friday. So that's what I did today! The show is called "Daytime" and it has two hosts, Dave and Cyndi ... very nice people who I met during the taping. The show also has an entertainment host who was bouncing around like a little firecracker! She was soooo full of energy and I kept staring at her because she looked sooooo familiar to me. Turns out, she was Lindsay MacDonald who used to be on my all-time favorite MTV show, "The Real World (Seattle)." (I think I finally came to terms with the idea that I was too old to keep watching "The Real World" and I stopped three years ago with the Philadelphia season.) Everyone was really great and made me feel right at home. In fact, the set literally had the feel of being in someone's home ... like sitting around the kitchen table.

The taping itself only lasted for perhaps a 5-6 minute segment. I was asked a few general questions by the hosts regarding my dating experiences, and then Lisa was also there to lend her comments and advice. I think it went very well from the bits and pieces that I can clearly remember. At least, that's what I was told. I was very nervous throughout, so much of the interview seemed like an out of body experience. I probably would not have been as anxious if I had not been told just moments before the taping that it was going to air in 10 small markets (e.g., Jacksonville, FL; Raleigh, NC; Macon, GA; etc.). I had initially thought it would only air locally in Tampa, which was plenty big to me!

When I got back home, I found the article Lisa wrote online. She had mentioned to me that she was limited to 500 words, so much of what I said had to be condensed and I wasn't the only individual she interviewed. While the quotes in the article do accurately reflect things I said, I was admittedly a little surprised by the context. I think the way my dating interactions were characterized in the article sound much worse in print than they ever were in reality. I debated about whether I would even post about this on my blog. But since it's the first web link that comes up under a google search of my name now, I might as well. LOL.

Here are a few disclaimers though. First, I never viewed any of my dating experiences as being "horrible" ... they just simply were what they were, and like everything else in my life, I just try to keep things moving forward. Second, I never dated or went out with the guy who fell asleep or feigned being asleep on the phone, after I worked up enough nerve to tell him about my mastectomy. He was so insignificant in the scheme of things, but I did find the story pretty humorous which is the only reason I mentioned it to Lisa at all. Lastly, I want to say that I feel pretty badly the first guy mentioned in the article found and read it by chance. He feels the article wrongly portrays him as having abandoned a relationship with me because of my surgery. We ultimately had a lengthy discussion about it, and I apologized for it sounding much more insulting than was actually the case. We did not end our romance because he wasn't able to handle what I was going through. In fact, we dated all throughout my chemo treatments and he was never put off by any of it. It's just that sometime during my recovery from surgery, it became evident to me that a romance between us was not going to work because of the emotional state of mind each of us was experiencing in our respective lives. Moreover, we never had an express conversation about breaking up, but to me, it was implicit in the fact that virtually no efforts were made to see eachother. So while it is true that I have not actually seen him since the day after my surgery, we have spoken many times by phone and remain friendly. As he puts it, A had nothing to do with B. And he's right. So I'm sorry if the article seems to imply that he was a coward about my cancer journey. The truth, according to him, is something more akin to the fact that he was concerned if we continued to spend time together, it may have generated mixed signals or may have been misleading given our history. I do understand his point of view, but we are different people and obviously handle our struggles very differently. Like I told him, perception is reality. I think we may still have a minor difference of opinion in terms of how to be a good friend when a romance can't continue to flourish. But to be clear, I do not think him a bad person or condemn him in any way.