2 A/C Rounds Down, 2 to Go!

Had my second chemo treatment on Monday ... so I was able to enjoy my Turkey Day last Thursday afterall! And believe me when I say, I ate good-good! I was most thankful for that. You all know I love to EAT! Don't let the tiny sized girl fool ya.

Here I am relaxing in my fancy chemo recliner chair like a movie star, posing with my genetics counselor, Maxine Chang. I had spoken with her several times over the phone to discuss the genetic testing I was going to be doing before actually meeting her. Imagine my ultimate surprise when "Maxine Chang" wasn't the Chinese lady I was looking for! LOL. (Maxine is Jamaican and her ex-husband is Chinese-Jamaican, hence the chinky last name ... of course, I have license to say this since I am ... eh, hem ... half chink myself.)

Maxine is a great lady just by virtue of her personality, disposition, and concern. But she will probably mean even more to me in approximately 6 weeks when she gives me the GOOD NEWS about my genetic testing results!!! I am wholly confident my blood test will reveal that I am negative for a mutation with 1 or 2 genes that have been strongly identified with breast cancer in recent times (BRCA1 and BRCA 2). For starters, I am unaware of anyone in my family on either side who has had breast cancer before me (and there are a lot sisters between my mother's and father's side of the family who have produced a number of female cousins for me). As I am an only child for my parents and my mother passed away at the young age of 41 (when I was 9 yrs. old), genetic testing is important for me ... as well as what it will enable me to share with the female members of my family for their own peace of mind. But this notwithstanding, I've already outlined how strongly I feel this was, in large part, triggered by my prolonged use of synthetic hormones (i.e, the birth control pill -- coupled with never having had a baby which could have created protective properties against developing cancer in the breast tissue and milk ducts). So I remain optimistic my diagnosis will be of no consequence to my family members.

Nonetheless, if (by some remote possibility or freak of nature) I should test positive for a mutation of the BRCA1 gene, it may mean that I will be faced with an 85% risk of developing cancer again in the contralateral (or other) breast before the age of 70. With this increase in odds, my doctors would at that point strongly suggest I consider a bilateral mastectomy (which includes prophylactically taking off my good breast) to thwart the chance of a recurrence. Of course, they do offer various types of procedures for immediate reconstruction as a consolation prize ... but still. A very, very tough decision I hope I will never have to make ... I DO LOVE my breasts! I really do ... and it would be very emotionally difficult for me to part with them.

[Note here: This is not just because I may have deemed my breasts to be among my better physical traits (although I don't deny this either), but also because of how I've managed to imbue them all these years in terms of my own identity as a woman ... not to mention, my overriding personal concerns of somehow feeling cheated/robbed of the opportunity to maybe one day breastfeed my children. I know you don't have to give birth to love your child ... and I know this to be true just because I know how deeply I love my sweet, little canine and she didn't even come from my womb. Okay, I realize it's not exactly the same thing, but it illustrates the point. Yet still, some lifelong dreams are very tough to part with in the theoretical abstract. I honestly feel I love my children before they are even here ... so much of what I've chosen to do in my life so far (like waiting for marriage to the right person for ME) has been done with the idea of creating a happy, fulfilled, loving environment for them -- in the back of my mind. Having a baby (or maybe even 2 babies, God willing) now seems to mean more than EVER to me, following this ordeal. I certainly don't enjoy the pressure or constraints of time ... ideally, I'd like to have a marriage someday that not only lasts, but one that works (hopefully, before I share with my husband the most precious gift of all ... a new life)! In the meantime, I continue to search for the bigger picture in my own life and try to surrender to this mystical process ... to use my life for whatever meaningful purpose it should have and be. I constantly try to remind myself to pray for God's will and not necessarily my own ... but a girl can still be hopeful, can't she? I know I sound confused, but I'm okay with having mixed up emotions in all of this.]

If I should test positive for a mutation of the BRCA2 gene, it will mean that I could face a 50% chance of developing ovarian cancer before the age of 70. And because, to date, we don't have very good means of detecting ovarian cancer early (as with mammograms, ultrasounds, and MRI's for breast cancer) ... many ovarian cancers are discovered in the later stages (specifically, Stage IV) where it has the potential to become truly life threatening. Consequently, I would be encouraged by my doctors to consider an oopherectomy (i.e., removing my ovaries at some point in time). My breast surgeon feels strongly about allowing women of child bearing age to go ahead and have their children and then take them out ... unless there's some indication that they must come out immediately.

Whew! Did you get all that? That's heavy, ain't it?? I do put this out of my mind most of the time ... one day at a time, one day at a time. If I try to bite off more than I can chew (as I did early on with this diagnosis), I will likely find myself with much bigger problems ... like an addiction to Xanax and Prozac! (Which might, by the way, cause cancer. Just kidding.)

Like I said, Maxine and I are going to be great friends ... I just know it! Also, I think it's pretty cool that Maxine said anyone who has had any form of cancer in my family can be tested for free by the same company who will be performing my genetic test. (Myriad Genetic Laboratories is a leading biopharmaceutical company based in Salt Lake City, Utah that holds the patent on this test.) Although there is no known breast cancer that runs in my family, there is a strong history of prostate cancer on my father's side. I wouldn't necessarily expect that to yield a different result for me ... but there may still be a number of distant gene connections that scientists have not yet identified. Something I have to keep in mind, I suppose. My other family members who have not had a cancer diagnosis can also opt to have their blood drawn and be tested for around $385. Oddly, many of my relatives are dispersed in other countries ... Canada, Jamaica, China, France, and Tanzinia. Not exactly sure how this test could be coordinated under these circumstances, but I'll certainly find out.



OH!!!! I almost forgot to share the TRULY GREAT NEWS I received on Monday! Geez ... how could I forget? First things first ... my oncologist measured my tumor just before the second round and it has already shrunk to HALF the original size after only ONE chemo treatment!! Die, tumor, die! Ya hear me?!

The idea is that chemo will continue to shrink the tumor down to almost nothing ... killing any and all rogue cancer cells remaining (most important) ... and, of course, allowing my breast surgeon to excise less of an area around the tumor site and still get good, clean margins (no cancer cells, dead or alive, close the edges) around the excised area ... thereby, ultimately, leaving me with a good cosmetic result!!! (A little less important in the whole scheme of things, but I already told you I love my breasts .... right?)

Remember all the complaining I did about getting Ativan (the anti-anxiety med) in my I.V. the last time? You know, the one that left me feeling drowsy and out of it all day ... well, I chose to get again after all of that. Apparently, it has anti-nausea properties that I didn't know about as well. Bottom line ... if it's a toss up between feeling sleepy or feeling pukey, I'll take sleeeeeeep anyday!

So here I am again feeling nice and high, once the Ativan started to take effect .... mmmmmmm ... lah-dee-dah:


The red stuff you see running through the tubes into my arm port is A/C (Adriamycin and Cytoxan). This is the chemo combination that is working to kill the shell of the tumor ... the next drug I will get in a couple of months (Taxol) will destroy the residual cancer cells inside of the tumor.

Below is what my t-shirt says close-up ... in keeping with the whole movie star theme, that is:
But this will actually be me, a REAL MOVIE STAR, when I am finally DONE with chemo!!!! Move over, Lucy Lui! (Tee, hee.)