2 A/C Rounds Down, 2 to Go!

Had my second chemo treatment on Monday ... so I was able to enjoy my Turkey Day last Thursday afterall! And believe me when I say, I ate good-good! I was most thankful for that. You all know I love to EAT! Don't let the tiny sized girl fool ya.

Here I am relaxing in my fancy chemo recliner chair like a movie star, posing with my genetics counselor, Maxine Chang. I had spoken with her several times over the phone to discuss the genetic testing I was going to be doing before actually meeting her. Imagine my ultimate surprise when "Maxine Chang" wasn't the Chinese lady I was looking for! LOL. (Maxine is Jamaican and her ex-husband is Chinese-Jamaican, hence the chinky last name ... of course, I have license to say this since I am ... eh, hem ... half chink myself.)

Maxine is a great lady just by virtue of her personality, disposition, and concern. But she will probably mean even more to me in approximately 6 weeks when she gives me the GOOD NEWS about my genetic testing results!!! I am wholly confident my blood test will reveal that I am negative for a mutation with 1 or 2 genes that have been strongly identified with breast cancer in recent times (BRCA1 and BRCA 2). For starters, I am unaware of anyone in my family on either side who has had breast cancer before me (and there are a lot sisters between my mother's and father's side of the family who have produced a number of female cousins for me). As I am an only child for my parents and my mother passed away at the young age of 41 (when I was 9 yrs. old), genetic testing is important for me ... as well as what it will enable me to share with the female members of my family for their own peace of mind. But this notwithstanding, I've already outlined how strongly I feel this was, in large part, triggered by my prolonged use of synthetic hormones (i.e, the birth control pill -- coupled with never having had a baby which could have created protective properties against developing cancer in the breast tissue and milk ducts). So I remain optimistic my diagnosis will be of no consequence to my family members.

Nonetheless, if (by some remote possibility or freak of nature) I should test positive for a mutation of the BRCA1 gene, it may mean that I will be faced with an 85% risk of developing cancer again in the contralateral (or other) breast before the age of 70. With this increase in odds, my doctors would at that point strongly suggest I consider a bilateral mastectomy (which includes prophylactically taking off my good breast) to thwart the chance of a recurrence. Of course, they do offer various types of procedures for immediate reconstruction as a consolation prize ... but still. A very, very tough decision I hope I will never have to make ... I DO LOVE my breasts! I really do ... and it would be very emotionally difficult for me to part with them.

[Note here: This is not just because I may have deemed my breasts to be among my better physical traits (although I don't deny this either), but also because of how I've managed to imbue them all these years in terms of my own identity as a woman ... not to mention, my overriding personal concerns of somehow feeling cheated/robbed of the opportunity to maybe one day breastfeed my children. I know you don't have to give birth to love your child ... and I know this to be true just because I know how deeply I love my sweet, little canine and she didn't even come from my womb. Okay, I realize it's not exactly the same thing, but it illustrates the point. Yet still, some lifelong dreams are very tough to part with in the theoretical abstract. I honestly feel I love my children before they are even here ... so much of what I've chosen to do in my life so far (like waiting for marriage to the right person for ME) has been done with the idea of creating a happy, fulfilled, loving environment for them -- in the back of my mind. Having a baby (or maybe even 2 babies, God willing) now seems to mean more than EVER to me, following this ordeal. I certainly don't enjoy the pressure or constraints of time ... ideally, I'd like to have a marriage someday that not only lasts, but one that works (hopefully, before I share with my husband the most precious gift of all ... a new life)! In the meantime, I continue to search for the bigger picture in my own life and try to surrender to this mystical process ... to use my life for whatever meaningful purpose it should have and be. I constantly try to remind myself to pray for God's will and not necessarily my own ... but a girl can still be hopeful, can't she? I know I sound confused, but I'm okay with having mixed up emotions in all of this.]

If I should test positive for a mutation of the BRCA2 gene, it will mean that I could face a 50% chance of developing ovarian cancer before the age of 70. And because, to date, we don't have very good means of detecting ovarian cancer early (as with mammograms, ultrasounds, and MRI's for breast cancer) ... many ovarian cancers are discovered in the later stages (specifically, Stage IV) where it has the potential to become truly life threatening. Consequently, I would be encouraged by my doctors to consider an oopherectomy (i.e., removing my ovaries at some point in time). My breast surgeon feels strongly about allowing women of child bearing age to go ahead and have their children and then take them out ... unless there's some indication that they must come out immediately.

Whew! Did you get all that? That's heavy, ain't it?? I do put this out of my mind most of the time ... one day at a time, one day at a time. If I try to bite off more than I can chew (as I did early on with this diagnosis), I will likely find myself with much bigger problems ... like an addiction to Xanax and Prozac! (Which might, by the way, cause cancer. Just kidding.)

Like I said, Maxine and I are going to be great friends ... I just know it! Also, I think it's pretty cool that Maxine said anyone who has had any form of cancer in my family can be tested for free by the same company who will be performing my genetic test. (Myriad Genetic Laboratories is a leading biopharmaceutical company based in Salt Lake City, Utah that holds the patent on this test.) Although there is no known breast cancer that runs in my family, there is a strong history of prostate cancer on my father's side. I wouldn't necessarily expect that to yield a different result for me ... but there may still be a number of distant gene connections that scientists have not yet identified. Something I have to keep in mind, I suppose. My other family members who have not had a cancer diagnosis can also opt to have their blood drawn and be tested for around $385. Oddly, many of my relatives are dispersed in other countries ... Canada, Jamaica, China, France, and Tanzinia. Not exactly sure how this test could be coordinated under these circumstances, but I'll certainly find out.



OH!!!! I almost forgot to share the TRULY GREAT NEWS I received on Monday! Geez ... how could I forget? First things first ... my oncologist measured my tumor just before the second round and it has already shrunk to HALF the original size after only ONE chemo treatment!! Die, tumor, die! Ya hear me?!

The idea is that chemo will continue to shrink the tumor down to almost nothing ... killing any and all rogue cancer cells remaining (most important) ... and, of course, allowing my breast surgeon to excise less of an area around the tumor site and still get good, clean margins (no cancer cells, dead or alive, close the edges) around the excised area ... thereby, ultimately, leaving me with a good cosmetic result!!! (A little less important in the whole scheme of things, but I already told you I love my breasts .... right?)

Remember all the complaining I did about getting Ativan (the anti-anxiety med) in my I.V. the last time? You know, the one that left me feeling drowsy and out of it all day ... well, I chose to get again after all of that. Apparently, it has anti-nausea properties that I didn't know about as well. Bottom line ... if it's a toss up between feeling sleepy or feeling pukey, I'll take sleeeeeeep anyday!

So here I am again feeling nice and high, once the Ativan started to take effect .... mmmmmmm ... lah-dee-dah:


The red stuff you see running through the tubes into my arm port is A/C (Adriamycin and Cytoxan). This is the chemo combination that is working to kill the shell of the tumor ... the next drug I will get in a couple of months (Taxol) will destroy the residual cancer cells inside of the tumor.

Below is what my t-shirt says close-up ... in keeping with the whole movie star theme, that is:
But this will actually be me, a REAL MOVIE STAR, when I am finally DONE with chemo!!!! Move over, Lucy Lui! (Tee, hee.)

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you BREAKING NEWS!!! My very best girlfriend, Carmen, finally had her baby girl (6 days past due) this evening at 7:16 p.m.!! Congratulations, Carmen and Maurice (Mum and Pop)!!! Sydney Jade Hinds weighed in at 8 lbs., 1 oz. (whoa!) and has a full head of dark, curly hair .... apparently much more hair than me now. Hoody-hoo!

M'kay, now back to the show ... although this MAY not be for the faint of heart. (smile) I've actually had more than enough time to make peace with the idea of losing all my hair for the next several months while I undergo chemo. Like everything else about this experience, once I'm able to digest any perceived bad news, I manage to quickly put it behind me and keep it moving. So I was very proud of myself that I shed not one tear over any of this today. Not one ... just like a big girl!

Everything I'd read and everyone who had been here before told me I should expect to have a tingling sensation in my scalp and clumps of hair falling out approximately 14 days after the start of my first treatment. So when last Thursday (the 14th day) came and went, and my head/hair/scalp appeared to be doing nothing out of the ordinary ... I was elated. In the words of Tony the Tiger, I said, "Grrrrrrreat!" Maybe I'd be lucky and my hair would just thin, not fall all the way out -- as some who wanted to be hopeful for me had suggested. Well, it was really wishful thinking ... and deep down, I knew it all along. The following day, I got up, got dressed for work, took a brush to my hair, and noticed whole strands were coming out in the brush. It was so surreal, especially because I otherwise felt entirely normal. Since then, I had brushed it verrrrrry gently and pulled it back into a ponytail or bun each day. I managed to go to a wedding on Saturday, hang out with my Sweedy on Sunday (had the best mango martinis too!), go to work the next 2 full days ... all with that same ponytail/bun seemingly in tact! (In truth, my hair was shedding and tangling profusely with every passing day ... yeesh.)

But today was absolutely the last day my hair was able to hold on. I could just tug at a strand anywhere on my head and it would come right out. Easily, I could have pulled ALL my hair out my head with little or no effort. Fortunately, the hair replacement system Mario Mazza of Couture4Cancer had ordered for me was finally here! So off I went to Mario's salon in Jupiter, FL (approx. 1.5 hours away) to have him shave my hair and give me my new Couture4Cancer look. Mario colored my new hair with really beautiful highlights and his lovely wife, Donna, cut and styled it for me.

I had really wanted to donate my hair to Locks of Love (a wonderful not for profit organization that provides hair prosthetics to children with long-term medical hair loss) ... but I waited too long to cut my hair while I held out for my hair replacement ... and then my hair was simply too matted, and not to mention unwashed, to be of any good use.

But here's the new (temporary) me ... both before and after ...

hold onto your hats ... get ready ...

Ta-daaaah!

Do you know my parents were going to name me Adrian if I had been a boy??? Adrian Coke?? Mmm, I don't know about that one. I'm looking at these pics thinking I might not have been halfway bad looking for a boy ... at the very least, I don't have a pointy, cone-shaped dome. But it certainly would have sucked to have only been 5 ft. tall and bald headed with a corny name like Adrian, trying to get some hot chic to dance with me. (Hope I've offended no one here .... but heck, these are just my honest, shallow thoughts.) Okay, so I digressed.

The best way to explain this hair system is that it is essentially like a wig ... only it is custom made with human hair to match the texture and color of my real hair. The hair apparently comes from India, Pakistan, and Indonesia ... donated by women as a cultural practice when they get engaged and cut their long hair. Hmm? (I just might have to google that and do a little Nancy Drew sleuthing of my own ... curiosity has the best of me now.) Anyways, the scalp part of it is very, very thin ... it mimics the first layer of skin and looks much like a real scalp ... it can be parted anywhere, for instance. It is then affixed to my head with surgical bonding glue that lasts 6 weeks ... then I just go back for "maintenance." I should be able to wash, blow dry, flat iron, swim, jump out of airplanes, etc. with this hair and it should not come undone.

Mario wants me to try it out for one week with just the strong adhesive (no bonding glue) for now ... he will then make any adjustments I want before gluing it down around my hairline. I can already tell I want him to move it further down on my scalp ... it's set a little too far back right now. I feel like I'm going to break into song with an old Sade hit .... "Smooth Operator." (But then again, I could also pass for Susan Taylor's little sister.)

Scolded like a 4 year old today

So this is what I was thinking I wanted to do (in my mind) to try to make my chemo nurse smile today. Anything to get the heat off me ... geez. I got a real scolding today for not taking my medication as prescribed. Whoo hoo!

First, a little background. You should know that I have been given more prescriptions for things to take in one sitting than I've ever had to take in my entire life! Most of it is anti-nausea medicine (Emend, Decadron -- a steroid that can cause weight gain ... boo, hiss, boo ... and Zofran). I'm supposed to take these meds the day before, the day of, and then up to 3 or 4 days after each chemo treatment. Okay, so I did that! But I also have prescriptions for a drug called Compazine which I can take as needed (but I hear it makes you very sleepy) and Nexium (the purple pill for acid reflux). Well, I haven't touched the Compazine or Nexium because I didn't feel I needed it. Especially the Nexium ... I haven't had any acid reflux or heartburn to date, so why praytell should I take it??

Mayra, my nurse, asked me today if I'm taking all my meds and I told her just the ones I had to before and after my first treatment. She asked about the Nexium and when I said no, her head shot around and she damn near had a conniption (sp?) ... you know, where someone gets so angry it appears their face is slowly starting to slide off. I offered up a meek explanation that I really don't like taking pills, especially if I don't really need them. Well, apparently she feels I NEED it ... AND I have to take it EVERYDAY until I finish with chemo. That totally sucks ... too much of anything, everyday can't be good in my view (unless it's mindless, personal e-mail). Chemo does a good job on killing bad cells, but it also kills your good cells ... among them, like the ones found in your gastrointestinal tract, the esophagus, and inside of your mouth. (That's why they warn about guarding against mouth sores ... which I also haven't had.) Well, who knew?? Mayra said she explained this all to me during my chemo education session with her weeks ago ... and I know she probably did, but there were so many other things on her list for me to do ... including but not limited to my use of new toothpaste (Biotene), new mouthwash (also Biotene), Activia yogurt (to line the intestines with good bacteria), tea tree oil (for my nailbeds), stool softeners (haven't needed that, thank you), Immodium (no, to that as well), etc., etc.

So I opted not to take the Nexium. Shoot me, okay? And even though she's instructed me to take it from here on out, I still feel ambivalent. WHAT IF NEXIUM CAUSES CANCER???? Afterall, how much has Nexium been studied and how many years out?

By the way, off topic for a sec ... have I said I think my 15 year continuous use of the birth control pill caused or fueled my cancer?! And don't poo-poo me ... all that ying and yang about studies showing no link between the pill and breast cancer ... studies sponsored by whom exactly? Which drug companies? Well most notably, the Mayo Clinic just came out with this recent report, suggesting women who have had extensive use of the pill who have also never had their first full-term birth prior to the age of 30 are at a 44% greater risk of developing breast cancer ... HARK!

http://www.mayoclinicproceedings.com/pdf/8110/8110a1.pdf.

A new study from the Mayo Clinic has concluded that there is "a measurable and statistically significant" connection between the pill and pre-menopausal breast cancer, re-enforcing the recent classification of oral contraceptives as Type 1 carcinogens.

The study found that the risk association was 44 percent over baseline among women who had been pregnant who took oral contraceptives prior to their first full-term pregnancy has been, to a large degree, ignored by many media organizations.

The report, "Oral Contraceptive use as a Risk Factor for Pre-menopausal Breast Cancer: A Meta-analysis," was authored by Dr. Chris Kahlenborn of the Altoona, Pa., Hospital's internal medicine department and others. Kahlenborn said the results mean that, following standards of informed consent, "women must be apprised of the potential risk of pre-menopausal breast cancer prior to commencing drug use."

The study, which is available online through the Mayo Clinic or at the Polycarp Research Institute, is a meta-analysis of that sometimes-fatal link.

Dr. Kahlenborn focused on the younger, pre-menopausal women who had been on the pill before having their first child. He found 21 of 23 studies showed a connection between the pill and cancer, something that certainly should be alarming women.

However, as Andrea Mrozek, manager of research and communications for the Institute of Marriage and Family Canada, noted in an article. "Perhaps it is because the pill has long been the darling of feminists – a veritable icon of female empowerment. In some circles, suggesting the pill might kill you is seen as tantamount to issuing a press release that women belong in the kitchen."

So back on topic ... the one good thing that happened today is that I didn't need that Neulasta shot to bring up my white blood cell counts! (This is a shot you're supposed to get the day after chemo that can cause severe bone pain. My onc said I might not need it for the first treatment, and she gave me a choice about it. So you know what this stubborn patient chose, right?) My counts were in fact a little lower today (they're supposed to drop between day 7 and 12), so chemo is indeed doing its job ... but they were still within normal ranges to get around the shot ... yahoo! (It didn't even matter to me at that point that they had to prick my finger twice because my blood coagulated too fast in the test tube the first time.)

P.S. -- Ed Bradley of "60 Minutes" lost his brave fight to leukemia today at the tender age of 65. Such a classy, great journalistic icon ... he will be sorely missed! Rest in peace.

The Bionic Woman

Arm Port Photo ... stitches come out tomorrow!

First Day of Chemo (... a piece of cake)

Well, not quite as sweet ... apart from the slight metal taste AC (Adriamycin and Cytoxan) left in my mouth right after, it was more or less a piece of cake yesterday. I forgot to take a pic while sitting in my fancy recliner chair hooked up to the tubes ... so instead, I've attached a picture of my arm port through which I will get my regular chemo infusions. I had the port placed 4 days ago and it still looks a little bruised and nasty, but it's not painful and it gets better with each day. It sort of feels like having a small watch battery on the inside of my upper arm ... as a kid, I always wanted to be the Bionic Woman ... so now I have back-up battery power! I will have my stitches out next Tuesday, Nov. 7th. Normally, the port is placed in your chest and they make a slight incision in your neck as well to feed the catheter ... I politely declined and insisted they put it in my arm instead. No, I haven't been the easiest patient. Would MUCH rather have a small arm scar to look at than a chest scar. Call me vain ... but I live in Miami where spaghetti string tops and strapless dresses are all the rage ... year round!

I was unsuccesful in my attempts to have my oncologist switch me to a different chemo cocktail ... one that would not include Adriamycin which can have potentially taxing effects on one's heart function, causing permanent cardiac damage in some people. I was assured that age is the biggest risk factor and with me being so young (yes, still young by oncology standards), I should tolerate it well. My MUGA scan (which tested my heart strength) was at baseline 67% ... sounded like a D- to me, but they look for your heart function to be betwen 50 and 55% normally ... so my heart strength is actually pretty great. I will get one of these scans every 3 months to monitor me closely.

My oncologist walked in yesterday, jokingly addressing me as "Doctor" since the day before I faxed her a long cover letter along with several power point slides from a recent clinical trial presentation held in San Antonio. At that conference, they outlined the results of a study performed over 2 years which showed women who were co-amplified (or tested positive) for a protein called Topo-II had a much better response to Adriamycin than did women who were Topo-II negative. My breast surgeon recently used me as a guinea pig (since the Topo-II testing is not routinely done) and discovered that I am Topo-II NEGATIVE. On that basis alone, I felt I was a much better candidate for another chemo drug called Carboplatin which does not have carry any risk of cardiac toxicity like Adriamycin. Still, my oncologist wouldn't go for it and even presented my case with this finding to Dr. Howard Burstein, a famous oncologist with the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston. He agreed with her that because of my "young" age and the fact that I am being given chemo in the neo-adjuvant setting (meaning BEFORE any surgery), that they must use the most aggressive, active agents that we have today. The clinical trial I discussed before was focused on women who had already undergone surgery first (lumpectomy or mastectomy) followed by chemo. I felt better after our talk ... I just really needed to hear Dr. Perez, my oncologist, justify to me one final time why I had to have the chemo cocktail which included Adriamycin. She did agree with me that the recent identification of the Topo-II protein will provide some future implications in the advanced treatment of breast cancer, but more empirical data is still needed ... and we only know what we know today, so she's sticking to the protocol.

All the infusion nurses at my chemo center are GREAT. Really lovely and fun ... they kinda remind me of ... well, ME! Ha, ha. They gave me nice, heated blankets to keep me warm and make me feel quite at home. I think I kept them entertained yesterday ... the Ativan (an anti-anxiety med) I was given through my IV probably had a lot to do with it too. I tried to order a French Martini with a splash of sweet and sour as my first chemo cocktail ... but they weren't going for it ... so instead, I got a bag of saline to flush my port first. Not quite the same, but hey. Also, the Ativan left me with a tired, drunk feeling ALL day long (practically all night too). Just wanted to sleep, sleep, sleep ... and I barely remember phone conversations I had later on. Just bits and pieces. I think I'm going to decline the Ativan next time ... why have it if I'm not even feeling anxious??

Just glad there's no nausea or fatigue today. I have been staying hydrated and eating well ... fruits, protein, veggies, and yogurt (to keep good bacteria lining my intestines) ... just trying to stay ahead of any potential nausea, diarrhea, and constipation. So far, so good. I hope chemo is working on killing the BEAST though! I decided to stay home from work today ... for no reason at all. Just figured I'd make it a long weekend. (tee, hee) Plus, I really want to go vote today and take advantage of shorter lines before Tuesday! Remember, if you haven't voted, you have NO right to complain. Stepping off my soapbox now.

Sept. 13th ... my own 9/11

I started this blog so that all my earth angels (friends, family, and even strangers) can follow me as I journey through Cancerland. Anyone who knows me knows I love to travel, but I really didn't sign up for this trip! (Had a much better time in Asia actually.)

This first post will give you the skinny on how I found myself here:

My primary doctor is a huge advocate for early detection and had mentioned almost 2 years ago when I was 35 that I could start going for yearly mammograms. I left her office that day forgetting to have her write the script, but I must have thought, 'No big deal. I'm not at high risk ... I'm still relatively young and breast cancer doesn't run in my family anyway." Nevertheless, I pride myself on staying on top of my health so when I saw her again this year in May, I asked her about finally getting the prescription. I put it in my purse and left.

But life gets in the way ... I was busy ... I thought from time to time, 'Yeah, I really do have to schedule that thing. But where exactly do I go for a mammogram? How do I schedule that? Just one more thing on my list of things to do. And will it HURT? Is it pain or just pressure?? I'll figure it out when I have some time to process it.'

In late June, I got a call from a good girlfriend of mine. She was hysterical ... she had just gone for her first baseline mammogram and they found a suspicious mass. They wanted her to undergo an ultrasound just to be sure it was nothing. It was around the time of her birthday and she didn't want to deal with it before her birthday. A few weeks later, her ultrasound revealed it was nothing ... just as we had hoped.

So after walking around with that prescription in my wallet for months, I finally got a fire lit under my ass and scheduled the mammo for August 31, 2006. It wasn't so bad ... not painful at all. The very next day, my doctor called and left me a stoic sounding message to call her. It was Labor Day Weekend and my parents were visiting ... I asked Joan, my stepmother, "Why do you suppose my doctor called? Think it had something to do with the mammogram? Is that usual, they call you the very next day??" It concerned me when Joan said they usually write you a letter telling you everything was fine ... but I couldn't speak with my doc until Tuesday.

Tuesday afternoon ... Dr. Morrison called back: "Camille, I really hate doing things like this over the phone ... this doesn't look good. They found small calcifications on your films ... it looks suspicious ... especially because you're so young [note: this isn't necessarily how my gynecologist looks at me when I say I want to have a baby someday]. So I want you to hurry and have them schedule you to take enlarged mammogram views, do an ultrasound, and a possible stereotactic (needle) biopsy. This week if possible, okay?"

If I was a cartoon, you would have seen my eyes dilate like big swirled lollipops and stars would have been spinning over my head!! WHAAAAAAT?!

September 13th was essentially my own 9/11. I had my boobs smashed like pancakes for the enlarged views ... had an ultrasound tech continously roll the probe over the side of my left breast, causing me great discomfort ... and then a large needle was stuck into my boob with a loud vacuum sounding in the room to pull some tissue for pathology. Hey, who said a tumor isn't supposed to HURT?! The radiologist confirmed I had two small tumors sitting side by side at the 3:00 position, measuring together approximately 2.5 cm. (Not exactly a tiny tumor, but not massive either.)

Fast forward ...

These last few weeks have been filled with various surgeon consultations, scans (CT, MUGA, PET, etc.), blood work, meetings with my oncologist, more appointments than I can tell you about. I have to keep a notebook holding all my appointments/research/info in one place to keep it straight in my head. The first few days I lived with my diagnosis were dark ... not because I ever once thought this would kill me ... I was just possessed by all the worse case scenarios. Nothing was more important to me than maintaining my fertility, my breasts, and my hair ... all in that order!

I found incredible support from some AMAZING women in my online support group: www.youngsurvival.org. Without them, I no doubt would still be a complete basket case ... two days of reading through their encouraging posts, detailing their experiences, and I was ready to fight this beast! I went through all the stages of grief very quickly ... shock, anger, denial ... and I've surprised myself by how easily I've been able to move into a pure state of acceptance. I figure if I didn't inherit this (and I'll be doing genetic testing soon to be sure), then I know my life and this experience is being used to teach me something spiritually. And if it's not a lesson for my own life, then perhaps it's a lesson for someone else's ... someone around me whose life I touch. Maybe both. I only wish if God wanted me to get closer to Him, he would have just written me a letter! (Tee, hee ... kidding.)

Tomorrow is when the real party starts! I am going to start my first of several neo-adjuvant chemo treatments. Breast conservation is important to me ... so chemo will provide the best opportunity to see if it will work (my body is the lab) and it will also shrink my tumor significantly ... maybe even down to nothing. What follows is a lumpectomy 6 months from now, radiation, and then a brief period of hormone receptor blockers because of my estrogen dominant status. I am a bit nervous because I truly don't know how I'll respond ... everyone does differently on chemo. One thing for sure is I am going to lose my hair. I've accepted that too ... but not with dignity ... I'm cheating ... I have a hair replacement kit ordered for me already! (Got a chic wig styled in a Chinese chin-length bob as well ... but I'm hoping I won't have to use it.) Click here: www.couture4cancer.org. Mario Mazza is just one of many earth angels in my life these days.

I have truly been overwhelmed by the genuine outpouring of love, concern, and support that I have received from so many people these past couple months. I never imagined I mattered to so many people. It really chokes me up sometimes ... but it also highlights what I've always believed ... that when you boil life down to its bare bones essence, there is NOTHING more important in this world than loving and being loved by your family and friends. Absolutely nothing!