Complete Clinical Response to Chemo

"CCR" ... or complete clinical response. Those were the words of my surgeon, Dr. DerHagopian, a couple weeks ago when we met to discuss my upcoming surgery date on May 17th. He examined me and said the tumor is barely palpable now so my response to chemotherapy has been excellent! He is very pleased and feels confident there won't be lymphnode involvement. We won't know for sure, however, until the time of surgery. Of course, I still had a plethora of questions for him concerning potential microscopic cancer cells that could still be circulating in the blood stream, and the risks that could pose for distant metastases in other organs. He reassured me the data I had e-mailed him (and my oncologist) concerning one German study conducted in 2005 re: circulating tumor cells has not changed the way the oncology community is currently treating breast cancer. I am doing every treatment that is available to me at this point to be aggressive and so far it has rendered a "complete clinical response" according to Dr. D.

I am feeling a whole lot better about my decision to go forward with a lumpectomy to remove whatever is remaining of the tumor. (According to an MRI and an ultrasound I had done this past week, one tumor is now as small as 3-4 mm and the other is approximately 12 mm. The ultrasound tech and radiologist could barely find the smallest tumor on film. You may recall I started out with both tumors measuring approximately 2.5-3.0 cm together.) As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I had been waivering at one point about whether I was doing the right thing by having a lumpectomy as opposed to a mastectomy with reconstruction. It was a tough week when Elizabeth Edwards and Tony Snow announced their recurrence with cancer. It literally scared the hell out of me ... and I realized that probably for the rest of my life, I will think about cancer and question whether it could possibly return. However, I know that I can only worry about the things within my control and leave the rest to a higher power.

I have already started to modify my daily diet to incorporate more natural foods that contain antioxidants or other cancer fighting properties (e.g., blueberries, more fruits in general, broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, avocados, nuts like almonds, green tea, etc.). Many of these foods I enjoy anyway, but I know I don't eat enough of them regularly. Exercise also has to become part of my lifestyle for good now ... even if it's just 20 minutes of walking per day (yes, I know strolling with Beijing doesn't count) ... and I have to be consistent and serious about it. There was a time when I exercised regularly and could work it into my schedule on my way home from work. Then life got hectic and I became less and less consistent. No more excuses now ... especially with the 15 pounds of weight gain brought on by the steroids and comfort foods during chemo. For my small frame, these extra pounds have me feeling winded and fatigued much of the time and my clothes are just too tight now (especially across my middle). Have no fear ... I'm bringing sexy back this month! :-)

I completed my last chemo treatment yesterday ... FINALLY! (Well, I still have to have infusions for a drug called Herceptin for another 9 months ... once every 3 weeks, but there are NO side effects with that. This drug targets the overexpression of an oncogene or protein that causes cancer cells to divide aggressively. It was approved by the FDA for metastic disease in 1998, but was only recently approved in 2006 for expanded use in the treatment of aggressive breast cancer -- typical of young women under the age of 40.) I am thrilled that I am done with Taxol however!!! Although I experienced no nausea as with the first chemo drug, I have had many other annoying cumulative side effects with Taxol ... weight gain, weekly bouts of acne, neuropathy (tingling in my hands and feet), blurry vision, and more recently lots of swelling in my feet, ankles, and calves. My oncologist prescribed a diuretic yesterday which seems to be helping a great deal already. For the past two weeks, I have been sleeping with my feet propped up and could only fit into one pair of closed toe shoes that I have. My feet have been looking like Fred Flintstone's and my toes have been looking like ... well, vienna sausages! Piggies in a blanket, I call them. Yikes! (:-o

It's been quite a ride so far, but the worst (I hope) is forever behind me now. I still have to do radiation after my surgery and then some form of hormonal therapy which I will negotiate with my onc to do until I'm ready to seriously try to get pregnant ... this I hope and determine to happen within the next 2 years. I've been chanting for "Prince Charming" to be in my life and for me to be closer to knowing it by no later than June of this year ... I feel certain this will happen, if it hasn't already. Many things about the choices I've made in my relationships have been revealed to me with greater clarity. This experience with cancer has also forced me to look inward and re-evaluate to some degree the value I've placed on certain things. A whole lot more on that later. (:-)

Also, I will post pics very soon with my hair updates. My hair has been slowly growing back in while doing Taxol ... it should speed up now that I'm done. I'm still wearing my cranial prosthesis ... LOL ... but the adhesive glue which keeps it intact is not impeding the hair growth, thankfully. I hope to be sporting a new pixie cut in the next month or so, once a little more hair fills in on top. Beautiful hair awaits me ... I'm soooooo excited!